Blog Saya

You know you’re a backstabbing space-wasting piece of horse shit when you:

1. Say someone’s not good looking when you yourself look like zoo left-overs. A blind or severely ruptured eyesight person would be awfully nice to let you off with "average-looking".

2. Say someone’s fat/too thin when really, when was the last time anyone has ever complimented your figure? Besides the blind guy?

3. Lament stupid things like, "But she’s fat & ugly! She doesn’t deserve a good-looking boyfriend!". It’s called wonderful personality, smarty pants. Look it up. Looks ain’t everything. Besides, better ugly and nice than ugly AND ugly.

4. Complain a girl is too un-girlish or lacking demure (because they listen to Indie, wear black and hate make-up) when you snore so loud at night, you scare poor Boogey Man away.

5. Get all whiny when someone speaks too loud when you practically scream like a friggin’ rhino during labor on the phone that the person you’re gossiping about hears every syllable you say - TWO DOORS AWAY.

6. Talk about unneccessary things with your friends. You know, the details you can do without in conversations e.g. this person has a big butt, this girl has straight hair…SO??? Geez, if you really have nothing to say, then zip it!

7. Act all nice and come-and-have-scones-&-tea-with-me-then-we-can-dress-Molly-the-zombie-doll-up-together-at-Nanna’s-porch-later-today infront of friends but go round talking behind their backs.

8. Act like nothing happened after bad-mouthing your friend behind his/her back.

9. Tell everyone about Every. Single. Male who talked to you (whom you claim were flirting with you) when really, the listener:

- Doesn’t give a rat’s bottom about what you have to say. I mean, everyone knows the guys are blind…or bored.

- Thinks the guys are after stale cakes, since expired stuff are…well, cheap.

10. Claim your English is so good and condemn other people’s speech when really, what were you actually saying? Whoa, did you actually speak French? Omg, I so didn’t know you speak French!

11. Comment and rant about a person’s fashion sense when you’re the one with the gaudy shoes, the eerie-looking bling-blings, the cheap sunglasses (which look horrible on you btw) and the demented taste in colour combination.

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I’m sorry for the harsh language. I suppose you can sum it up  by now that I am a bitch (sorry Liyana for over-powering you, haha). But sometimes a girl has to bitch to put another in place.

Back-stabbers and unnecessary gossipers should be shaved bald and pasted naked on gallows poles with Elephant Glue. If you have more to add to the list, please…be my guest. Letting out is always the best therapy to managing anger & depression.

PS: This post was in no way of putting blind people down. It’s a metaphor.