Blog Saya

Mood: Horrible

Mental state: Unstable

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This year has not been a good year for me. Neither was last year, and the year before (especially the year before) and the year before. Hell, I only remember having fun when I was in the Debate team, Sri Acmar & Sri Bestari - where my friends were as straight up as they came & were not hiding behind fake facades to impress the rest of the food chain.

Everytime I observe fakes, questions always revolve - are they really like this at home? Does their family know they have a faker in the house? What would their dogs think if they found out their master is a ‘trying-hard-to-fit-in’ being, even they admit not doing such crap during mating season? Most of all, why can’t they be their normal selves? Geez Louise, what’s wrong with being yourself?

I hate fakes (pirated dvds are an exception, aight?). And I can come up with one whole damned volume of entries thrashing the kind of fakes or desperate "fit-ins", expressing how they resemble nails dragging down chalkboards. Even Freddy Krueger doesn’t give me shivers that intense. Now I’m not pointing this out to anyone in particular. I just tend to bottle up my feelings and when shaken up right, I just fizz & explode in general. And since I don’t burst into homicidal rages anymore, I’m letting my thoughts stream into electronic words.

Firstly, I despise fake accents that are too obviously faked. Even in movies, I can’t stand people faking an accent e.g. Bridget Jones’ Diary & a few Malay movies. I forgive Bridget Jones’ tho, due to the fact it IS meant to be in an English setting but the local movies? Plain pathetic ok? You can tell they’re trying really hard to sound like some professional.

"Ooh yeah, I speak English, see? And I know words. Impressed already?".

Prft, oh I would be impressed if your grammar wasn’t that fucked up and the bombastic words you used weren’t pronounced that weirdly. OMG, did I just say that? Sorry I’m not saying I’m so good in English - fuck, no. It’s just a means of communication and hey, it’s not that I’m trying so fuckin’ hard to sound like a pro speaker by putting in fake pronunciations, slurs & intonations. This is how I speak at home, and this is how I speak with the rest of the population (human population of course. I speak Cat with felines. Haha). Because I know even if I try to "impress" people with my fake "almost-sounding-like-English" speaking, there’ll be a time where everything slips off mode and really stupid pronunciation bloopers surface - one key element in detecting fakes. They slip off their usual fake accent and start to sound really funny. I’ve been through this, hell yeah. And I seem to catch myself amidst the urge to raise an eyebrow in disgust/surprise and the tendency to laugh my ass off so hard, there’d be only one side left at the end of it. So, for those who’re caught in this disease, get a grip. Your lame "accent" ain’t impressing anyone. Not me at least.

Secondly, guys who try really hard to make a face for themselves by proving they’re perverts. WTF, guys??? You think by whistling, winking your heinous beady eyes, blurting out incredibly plebeian phrases like, "larilah cik adik, jangan jalan saja" at girls who happen to pass by you, you’ll get the fish into the net? Fuck you! Haven’t you heard of human sense??? What are you caught in a time jam? It’s 2006, you morons! Being perverts don’t get you anywhere with girls. Unless you’re in Idiotsville then maybe you can get away with a few stakes, but then again, who can stand your attitude? So passe! And when I say this, it’s not just my personal view but the perspectives of the whole female community - perverts like yourselves don’t deserve to be in human form. I suggest it’s either you grow up or take a hike. Or even better, become a tree. At least you can help with the globe’s environmental issues instead of wasting more land and air space.

Lastly, people who try hard to fit into popular/cool groups despite being the total Yang of the group’s Yin. Dammit man. Even rats know hamsters aren’t their kind. There’s nothing wrong with making friends. Heck, it’s perfectly noble. But please be sincere with it. You befriend a person because of who the person is, how he/she relates to you, how the person can be there for you at times of shit and how well the relationship can be maintained when things go fray. You don’t befriend a person because you wanna be cool. You befriend a person because you wanna belong. It saddens me to see someone desperately trying to fit into a puzzle when every edge & colour of him/her just screams "NO FIT". Even sadder, when the group looks so bloody obvious they want him/her out. I understand it’s freakin’ hard to find someone who really understands & clicks with you (trust me, it took me years to know someone familiar to me), but please don’t make it look so obvious you’re desperate because in the end your intention to be cool just turns you cold. Be natural. Only then a person can judge you as who you really are. The last thing you want happening is getting misjudged by who you’re not.

All in all, nevertheless the cliche of this all, I just gotta say "Be yourself". If you wanna impress anyone with whatever mojo you have in your pocket, just ensure the person’s not me…unless you’re a natural (I like naturals :D).

Til then, it’s pancakes for me for breakfast.

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Bugger & out.